Upcoming Events

Hi All!

November is National Prematurity Awareness Month and already shaping up to be a busy and exciting time. I wanted to be sure and tell you about a few exciting upcoming events.

On Thursday, November 14th, I’ll be participating as a panelist on a live Facebook chat sponsored by the National Premature Infant Coalition (NPIHC). The topic of the chat is  Mental Health for Preemie Parents, a topic near and dear to my heart.  The chat should be lively and informative, and I hope you’re able to join in!

NPIHC Live Facebook Chat

I am also incredibly honored to be speaking at a conference sponsored by Fragile Beginnings and The March of Dimes on Sunday, November, 17th, from 11:30 – 2:00 in Waltham, Massachusetts. The conference is free and everyone who attends will receive a complimentary copy of Preemie! If you’re in the New England area, I hope you can make it!

For more information or to register, click on the following link –

The Journey Through Prematurity: From the NICU to Early Childhood

I’ll also be joining two book groups this November to discuss Preemie.  If you’re in a book group and would like to spend a meeting discussing Preemie, I’d love to join you.  Just send me an email at prematurejourney@gmail.com and if it’s within driving distance, I’ll be there!  We can also Skype or FaceTime if distance is an issue.

Finally, I have to share the latest comment someone posted on Preemie’s Amazon Book Page.  It just made me smile to know this book is making a difference.

“No words can describe the feeling this book gave me…The honesty and depth of this book will stay with me for a long time. It’s also making me evaluate my life and change for the better. Thank you for sharing and making us moms of preemies feel less alone.”

Did Preemie have a positive impact on you? If so, perhaps you’ll feel moved to leave your own comment on the Amazon book page.  Thanks!

I hope things are going well in your world and wish you much joy and peace.

With blessings,

Kasey

An Interview with My Preemie

Even though I’m taking a break from blogging here, I’m still blogging over on the Preemie Babies 101 site.

You can read the beginning here and then head over there to read the rest of the fun interview I did with Andie!

An Interview with My Preemie

At the end of this past summer, I sat down with my 15-year-old boy and interviewed him about being the sibling of a preemie.  After that interview, it seemed only natural to interview the preemie herself.  So my daughter, Andie and I recently sat down across a table from each other at a Panera Bread.  She slurped her chicken noodle soup, and I pretended to put on my journalist persona.

Nice to meet you, Andie. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to meet me. 

No problem, Mom!

So, tell me, do you think of yourself as a preemie?

Not really.  Well I mean, sometimes, like when I’m not good in math, or something else, like if I drink my water weirdly, like Tucker says I do, I wonder if other preemies do that?  That’s how my mind works…I compare myself to other people and wonder about how other people do things.

Do you ever tell people you were a preemie?

If it comes up.  Sometimes I want people to know.  I mean, like, I don’t say, “Look at these scars on my tummy,” but I want people to know if they’re wondering. Like at the soccer party, when we went in the hot tub, and I was in a bikini and one of the girls asked what happened to my stomach.

What’d you tell her?

http://www.preemiebabies101.com/2013/11/an-interview-with-my-preemie/

Be well,

Kasey

tran·si·tion

Dearest Friends,

As I mentioned in my previous blog post, at this point written weeks ago, this fall has been a time of transition for our family.  When we moved to New Hampshire six years ago, we fell in love with a small Waldorf School on top of a hill and knew it was the safe, warm, healing place we’d been seeking for our children.  On top of another nearby hill, we found a 200-year-old house with fireplace hearths and apple trees and stone walls that whispered, “You’re home,” when we walked through the front door.  Others spoke to us of high schools and local school districts, but we loved the Waldorf School and the old house, and besides, high school was forever away.

And then six years passed…

and Tucker was graduating from 8th grade, his last year at Waldorf.  And suddenly the issue of high school and school districts was upon us.  And Tuck fell in love with a school 45 minutes away from our old home on top of the hill.  And I wondered how I’d get him to that new school, and Andie to her 7th grade class in the Waldorf School.

And thus began even more transition.

And we soon discovered that our dear Andie is a child resistant to change, a child who needs an enormous amount of time to process decisions.  Ultimately, she chose to move to the school where her brother had enrolled, but it was a spring and summer full of tears and great angst.  And as much as Lee and I knew that new school was a wonderful fit for her, the frequent nights she cried herself to sleep left us lying in bed, wide-eyed, questioning our decision.

And now here we are, a month into the new school year, with all those questions behind us, knowing that both children are exactly where they’re meant to be, broadening and thriving in their new school.

And I finally let out an enormous exhale, only to find that I’m absolutely wrung dry.

And all I want is for all of this change to be over and behind us.

“I think we’re passed the transition phase,” I said to Lee last week.  “That we’ve got this all figured out.”  Because that’s what I do – jump in with both feet, give it everything I’ve got and aim for the finish line.  Only once again, I’ve come to find out that the finish line doesn’t exist.

That transition is perpetual.

transition – the process or period of changing from one state or condition to another.

And isn’t that just what we’re constantly doing “changing from one state or condition to another” in each and every moment of everyday?

Walking through the woods this past weekend, thinking about transition and where I am in my life right now, the same question kept running through my mind… What’s next?…  What’s next?… What’s next?  I walked in rhythm to that chant until I hardly recognized it was there. I walked on until I emerged from the woods and saw a friend out in her garden.  I sat down on her stonewall and found my chant spilling out into formed words.  “I don’t know what’s next,” I told her, explaining how straight out of college I’d started teaching in Boston.  How just months after Tucker’s birth I’d started after-school creative writing workshops, and how upon moving to New Hampshire, I’d thrown myself into the process of writing, publishing and promoting a book.  And now, I had no idea what was next.

Picking up a few of the hydrangea she’d just cut, my friend paused.  “I guess I’m using this time in my life to refill my well,” she said.  Her words seemed to float in the air, enveloping me in their simplicity.

“You’re allowed to do that?” I asked, both of us laughing and sighing simultaneously.

The rest of my walk home brought a new theme song; the What’s Next song, replaced by the Refilling My Well song.  And that new music washed over me like a joyous symphony.

I’m just discovering what refilling my well looks like, but I’m pretty sure that in between making breakfasts, packing lunches, washing soccer uniforms, gluing letters on poster board projects and driving back and forth to school and soccer games, it involves lots more long walks, yoga classes, hand-written letters to old friends, wandering through garden and vintage shops, meditating on my yoga mat, diving into the stack of books piled on my bedside table and filling the pages of my black and white composition notebooks with new thoughts, stories and observations.  What I also see in that “Refilling My Well Picture” is a more present, centered me, ready to meet and welcome my children back into our home, the place that waits for them as they move further and further out into the world.

This blog has been a place I’ve so loved meeting you every week for the past couple of years, but I feel it’s now time to close my computer for a while and allow those fresh story and writing ideas to emerge as I begin this well-filling process.  I will so miss our connection, but as heavy as my heart feels, I know for now, that this is the right decision.

I’d love to stay in touch and hope we do through my Facebook pages – Kasey Mathews & Preeemie: Love, Life and Motherhood, and there’s also Twitter or you can email me at prematurejourney@gmail.com.

Thank you so much for being a part of this journey and allowing me to share in yours.  I am deeply grateful.

With blessings and much love,

Kasey

“Preemie” Review and Giveaway!

I’ve had the privilege of meeting so many wonderful people through my book and blog!

My latest new friend is Trish, an amazing NICU nurse and creator NICU Central, who recently surprised me with this review of Preemie!  What an honor!  Thank you, Trish!

And if any of you haven’t read Preemie, or would like a copy to give away, make sure you enter the Giveaway!

“Here is one book you will want to read if you have a preemie in your life. Aptly titled Preemie: Love, Life and Motherhood, this story provides a hopeful tale, one of struggling through the pain and fear of delivering a micro preemie  ultimately reaching a place of strength and authenticity, for the mother, the child, and the whole family. It’s a much-needed dose of humor, honesty, and empowerment that I’m sure you will enjoy.

Be prepared to laugh, to cry, and to cheer on this sweet family as they struggle to endure, survive, and thrive…

To read the rest of Trish’s review, please visit NICU Central!

Don’t forget to enter the Giveaway!

Transition

I haven’t had much time to write over the past few weeks because this fall the kids have started at a new school.

It’s been a HUGE transition.

When time allows, I want to write more about this change and the process we went through to get to this point, but in the meantime, I watched this Ted Talk during the summer months and showed it to both kids before they began the journey at their new school.

(Click on the photo to watch)

Screen Shot 2016-07-06 at 2.36.07 PM

Last week, I sat down on the first orientation day at our new school in an auditorium full of visibly nervous students and parents.  When the head of the school stepped to the microphone and began her talk with the words, “You belong here…” a warmth spread across my chest and I relaxed back into my chair, knowing that we were all exactly where we were meant to be.

I hope that your fall is off to a wonderful start and any transitions in your world are going smoothly!

With blessings,

Kasey

An Interview with My Boy

Sometimes I write over on the website, Preemie Babies 101.

Last week, I posted an interview I did with Tucker, asking him about his experience as the big brother to a preemie.

HIs answers were so clear, so honest, so dear, that I just had to share the interview over here with you.

I’m including the first couple questions below, but to read the entire interview, please click on over to Preemie Babies 101 website.  I’d love to hear your thoughts on his responses.  You can either leave a comment below or on the preemie babies site.

I hope you have a great day!

An Interview with a Preemie Sibling

Tucker, what do you remember most about Andie’s birth?

I don’t really remember much.  I was too young.  I think I remember staying with a lot of different people.  I think if I’d been older I could have remembered more.  And I didn’t really know what was going on.

What one word would you use to describe that time in your life?

Confused.

(To read the rest of our interview, please click here.)

What about you?  Have you ever thought about interviewing your own kid? If so, what questions would you ask?

Birthday

North-Elba-20130808-00292-e1376478205869

Lee took this photo last week on the morning of my 46th birthday.

We were in Lake Placid, NY, vacationing with my entire clan.

A big, celebratory dinner was planned, but as I do every year, I longed for some quiet, reflective, soul-nourishing time.

Lee set his watch alarm early – 6:30 am – and after waking our big dog, Meg, filling thermos with creamy coffee and wrapping egg sandwiches (mine gluten-free) in aluminum foil, we snuck out of the house before anyone woke, driving to the marina where we’d rented a boat slip for the week.

There’s something so magical about feeling like you’re the only ones awake, which is just how we felt, slowly driving the boat out onto that still, silent lake.

Lee drove, I sat in the bow, and Meg had the large back seat all to herself.

We cruised in silence, taking in the rustic cottages, stately adirondack pines and rocky shores lining the island around which we drove.

Without need for consultation, we arrived at a cove on the far end of the lake and Lee cut the motor.

We floated and looked around.

“Is that a bird?” I whispered, pointing to a light brown object close to shore, “or the top of a rock?”

Meg sat up at the sound of my voice.  Lee squinted ahead.

“Bird, I think,” he whispered back.

And a moment later, our eyes caught the pair of loons that had emerged from the shadows.

“Mama and Papa,” Lee whispered.  And as if on cue, one of the loons let out that hauntingly beautiful loon call and the smaller brown bird swam to their side.

We landed the boat on the dock at the nearby trail head which leads up the back of Whiteface Mountain.

Typically a four hour hike, we walked just a half hour or so, our usually slow, lopey Meg, full of vigor and joy, leading the way along the moss lined paths.

Lee took the above photo when we arrived back at the dock, after I’d asked for a few minutes more to just sit and be.

Just sit and be.

It was a wonderful beginning to a new year.

What are some of your favorite things to do on your birthday?

Summer Inspiration

This summer, I’m treating myself to an online writing/photography course. The class is called Unraveling: Ways of Seeing Myself, and taught by the wonderful, Susannah Conway, with whom I took my first online course, Blogging from the Heart, earlier this year.

Our first Unraveling assignment was to think about our feet. Susannah encouraged us students, 90+ women from all around the world to “Look down at the ground and see where you are in the world.”

Each week we share four of our favorite photos.

These are mine.

The second week’s task was to focus on our reflections; to catch glimpses of ourselves reflected back to us in the world.

Here are my photos from that assignment.

In the meantime, Tucker is reading Jhumpa Lahiri’s book, The Namesake for his summer reading assignment.  In particular, he’s been asked to focus on the advantages and disadvantages of being raised bicultural.

When I came across this poem, I was struck by how it so aptly captured all three; feet, reflections and life between two cultures.

My Grandmother Washes Her Feet in
the Sink of the Bathroom at Sears

BY MOHJA KAHF

My grandmother puts her feet in the sink

        of the bathroom at Sears

to wash them in the ritual washing for prayer,

wudu,

because she has to pray in the store or miss

the mandatory prayer time for Muslims

She does it with great poise, balancing

herself with one plump matronly arm

against the automated hot-air hand dryer,

after having removed her support knee-highs

and laid them aside, folded in thirds,

and given me her purse and her packages to hold

so she can accomplish this august ritual

and get back to the ritual of shopping for housewares

Respectable Sears matrons shake their heads and frown

as they notice what my grandmother is doing,

an affront to American porcelain,

a contamination of American Standards

by something foreign and unhygienic

requiring civic action and possible use of disinfectant spray

They fluster about and flutter their hands and I can see

a clash of civilizations brewing in the Sears bathroom

My grandmother, though she speaks no English,

catches their meaning and her look in the mirror says,

I have washed my feet over Iznik tile in Istanbul

with water from the world’s ancient irrigation systems

I have washed my feet in the bathhouses of Damascus

over painted bowls imported from China

among the best families of Aleppo

And if you Americans knew anything

about civilization and cleanliness,

you’d make wider washbins, anyway

My grandmother knows one culture—the right one,

as do these matrons of the Middle West. For them,

my grandmother might as well have been squatting

in the mud over a rusty tin in vaguely tropical squalor,

Mexican or Middle Eastern, it doesn’t matter which,

when she lifts her well-groomed foot and puts it over the edge.

“You can’t do that,” one of the women protests,

turning to me, “Tell her she can’t do that.”

“We wash our feet five times a day,”

my grandmother declares hotly in Arabic.

“My feet are cleaner than their sink.

Worried about their sink, are they? I

should worry about my feet!”

My grandmother nudges me, “Go on, tell them.”

Standing between the door and the mirror, I can see

at multiple angles, my grandmother and the other shoppers,

all of them decent and goodhearted women, diligent

in cleanliness, grooming, and decorum

Even now my grandmother, not to be rushed,

is delicately drying her pumps with tissues from her purse

For my grandmother always wears well-turned pumps

that match her purse, I think in case someone

from one of the best families of Aleppo

should run into her—here, in front of the Kenmore display

I smile at the midwestern women

as if my grandmother has just said something lovely about them

and shrug at my grandmother as if they

had just apologized through me

No one is fooled, but I

hold the door open for everyone

and we all emerge on the sales floor

and lose ourselves in the great common ground

of housewares on markdown.

So what’s inspiring you this summer? Have you ever taken an online course, or thought about doing so?

 

Follow-Up on My Boy/Man

I thought it was fitting after publishing yesterday’s post about my boy growing up, that when I arrived to pick him up at work in the afternoon he was all excited to show me what he’d accomplished.

I was a bit surprised when we walked right past the chicken coop he’d cleaned, the holes he’d dug for fence posts and the white picket fence he’d painted.  Instead, we went around the farm house to the trampoline in the field behind.

“I finally mastered my flip,” he told me with big, wide eyes.

I thought I should say something about work and the appropriateness of time and place, but instead I kept my mouth shut and watched as he demonstrated his “mastered” flip.

“He looked like he needed a break,” I heard from Tucker’s boss who’d walked up behind.

And I smiled, knowing that no matter how big Tuck gets, a part of him will always remain a little boy at heart.

photo-11

You can click on the picture to watch the 40 second video. Note the fist pump at the end!

Observations on Little Ones

My sister’s kids came down from Vermont to stay with us for a few days. They’re nine and six, just as mine were only a few short years ago.  Yet somehow, as I’ve aged and adapted along with mine, I’ve forgotten all the sweet, little things about little ones.

Like how no matter how late they go to bed, they still wake so early (6am) and how those little bellies are so super hungry after a full night of sleep.

I’d forgotten how a few picture books, read in a fun, animated voice, can be the highlight of a day.

Or how there is no need for probing questions to get them talking.  That they talk freely, an unfiltered stream of all that they observe and see.

How if asked to do something, they actually do it. Right then and there.  What a concept.

How they smile for photos and come running when I find a cool bug or tadpole or inchworm.

How they actually put on sunscreen and how covering their little backs takes just a bit of lotion and a few swift swipes across those bony angel wings.

How an afternoon bowl of ice cream with raspberries is a special treat and how a soda with caffeine isn’t even a consideration.

I’d also forgotten how they can’t reach glasses or bowls in the cupboard and how pouring their own lemonade usually means more on the floor than in the glass, and how they’re constantly watching and imitating the bigger ones; longing for their own bigger somedays.

But most of all, what I’d forgotten, is that for now, how they have no where else to be, but right by my side.

What about you? Are you still in the midst of raising little ones or have your littles grown big?