Before My Eyes

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Yesterday he was one,

and then he was five,

soon eight, then ten, then twelve.

Today he’s fourteen, turning fifteen in a month.

 And all along, so much more little boy than man;

his talks of someday fanciful and improbable.

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And then six months ago, 3 inches and 11 pounds overnight.

Suddenly the boy who subsisted on air was eating five meals a day.

And then another 3 inches and who knows how many more pounds.

We often stand back to back;

I still have a 1/2 an inch on him,

but not for long.

Each morning now I drive him to work at the local farm.

As I study him telling me about pigs and fencing, chicken coops, soil composition and cooking garlic scapes, I realize that before my eyes he’s gone from little boy to so much more man.

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But I’m not sad like I thought I’d be.

Because really it didn’t happen overnight.

Just like he first learned to roll over and then sit up; crawl and then stand,

I learned right along with him then,

Just as I am learning right along with him now.

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To Go Easy

Ahhhh, Sunday morning. And it finally feels like summer here in the North East. Although more rain is due to arrive, I’ll take this morning’s sunshine and the inspiration that arrived with it.

I’m reading Yes, Chef, the memoir of Ethiopian born, Swedish adopted, Marcus Samuelsson, which has me inspired in the kitchen.  This morning I’m baking these Gluten-Free Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins and finally trying the Ginger Syrup recipe a friend gave to me.  She’d brought me a mason jar full of the syrup last summer and ever since I poured out the last drop, I’ve been intent on making a batch of my own.  I used the syrup to make homemade ginger ale, pouring club soda over an ounce or so of the syrup, and I loved a bit of the syrup poured over my morning steel cut oats.  Here is the recipe my friend sent if you want to give it a try.

Ginger Syrup

In a medium saucepan, combine 2 c. sugar, 2 c. water, and 2 c. peeled fresh ginger, cut into coin-sized pieces.

Bring to boiling, stirring to dissolve sugar.

Reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, for 8 minutes or until mixture is a thin syrup consistency.

Remove from heat and let cool to room temperature, 2-3 hours.

Strain through a fine-mesh sieve; discard ginger.

Refrigerate syrup in an airtight container for up to 1 month.

After my time spent in the kitchen this morning, I poured myself another cream-laden cup of coffee and climbed back in bed with a book of Mary Oliver’s poetry.  From her book, Thirst, I’ve read this one poem over and over again and just had to share it with you.  Each time I read it, my eyes widen and my skin tingles, pondering the possibility that life could be so profound in its simplicity.  I’m going to print it out and hang it on the wall next to my bed.

 

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When I Am Among the Trees

by Mary Oliver

When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, “Stay awhile.”
The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, “It’s simple,” they say,
“and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine.”

May we all go easy and be filled with light.

And what are you up to on this Sunday morning? Do you have cherished Sunday morning rituals?  Does that poem resonate with you? Are there particular poems you love?

Wishing you a Happy Day!

Kasey

Write to Heal

I had the honor to write over on Preemie Babies 101 this week.  I hope you’ll check it out, especially if you’ve ever thought about doing a little writing.  (The post is geared to preemie parents, but it’s really applicable to all.)

“Whether your baby was in the NICU for 2 days or 200, the result of having a birth experience begin in the midst of  noisy beeping machines, a multitude of doctors and nurses, and the palpable fear that persistently swirls in the NICU air, the impact can have long-lasting effects on us as parents.  The problem is, we’re so busy taking care of our new little ones, we have no time to recognize and acknowledge how significant our baby’s birth has been on our emotional state.  We’re simply trying to survive this crazy world that’s suddenly been thrust upon us and hoping and praying the same holds true for our babies.

As our babies heal and grow and eventually arrive at home, it seems there is even less time to explore our emotional state, for now our little one is under our care alone.  The concept of taking time for ourselves is nearly laughable.  Sit down? Reflect upon how I’m feeling? Yeah right.

But here’s the deal. At some point we do have to sit down and reflect upon our thoughts, feelings, and emotions, because if we don’t, they  just breed and fester way down deep in the dark recesses where we’ve tucked them away.  And by bringing our buried fears, hopes, dreams, disappointments and truths to the light, we are in fact helping our child to heal and grow as well.  A healthy, whole parent is one of the greatest gifts we can offer to our children.

So where do I begin?”

Click on this link to find out!  Write to Heal

I hope your summer is off to a wonderful start and you’re finding moments to rest, relax and breathe.

With blessings,

Kasey

Cheerio!

Ok, to everyone who told me I’d be crazy not to jump at the chance to take the kids and join Lee on a business trip to London – YOU WERE RIGHT!

It has been three truly magical days, full of unforgettable moments I hope will be forever seared in the kid’s memory banks.  They certainly will be in mine!

We arrived Monday morning and soon after checking in the hotel, explored the nearby Covent Garden where we watched street performers and the kids indulged in banana and Nutella crepes.  After long afternoon naps, we headed to Piccadilly Circus and toured Ripley’s Believe it or Not Museum. The kids were utterly thrilled to see the Believe it or Not books they’ve so frequently checked out of the library come to life!

Most of Tuesday was spent on top of a red double decker bus touring the city.  We caught the bus in Trafalgar Square and saw every London highlight you can imagine – St. Paul’s Cathedral, Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace, The Tower of London, Hyde Park and Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum, just to name a few.  It was a whirlwind of a day, but a great way for the kids to take in so many sights in such a short period of time.

Looking through the gates of Buckingham Palace.

Looking through the gates of Buckingham Palace.

Today, Lee headed off to work at 7:00 this morning and while the kids were zonked out in the hotel room, I stood on a bridge overlooking The Thames, sipping a latte, chuckling over the fact that I was ever debating about taking this trip! (Again, YOU WERE RIGHT!).

And talk about jumping in with both feet… today I was really out of my comfort zone when the kids convinced (begged) me to ride The London Eye, which is the world’s largest Ferris wheel. I won’t even go on a Ferris wheel at our local fair, but there I was, in a glass enclosed bubble hundreds of feet in the air above London.  That time, it was the kids to whom I had to say, YOU WERE RIGHT!

Since arriving, we’ve been hearing that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is the hottest ticket in town and knew it was true when we found out tickets were sold out until next week.  But with a bit of luck this morning, I stopped at the theater, which is right behind our hotel, only to learn that a few tickets had been returned and we had seats in the royal circle section of the balcony.  I truly, truly can’t begin to describe what an experience this musical was.  Unlike the movie, it followed Raold Dahl’s book much more closely and was so incredibly well done, including a larger-than-life chocolate waterfall, giant dancing squirrels and a glass elevator, I’m worried nothing in the future will ever compare for the kids!  Sitting in the dark theater, with Tucker on one side and Andie on the other, when Willy Wonka began singing Pure Imagination, I felt transported back to my own childhood and couldn’t hold back the tears. (Thank you, Becky and Rob.  You insisted the kids would love London theater and YOU WERE RIGHT!)

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(click on the photo to hear the song)

After leaving the theater, Tuck went back up to the hotel room and Andie and I walked out onto the same bridge where I began my day to see London lit up at night. “I miss it here already,” Andie said, knowing that tomorrow we pack up our suitcases and head out to our friend’s house in the country, before flying home Friday afternoon.

“Me, too,” I told her. “Me, too.”

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Love, Gratitude and Jumping in with Both Feet (plus a giveaway!)

Remember that girl who was afraid to travel to Colorado for a ski vacation?

Well, that same girl, just got back from a week in Charleston, South Carolina!

It was actually Tucker who took me there.  Well, his 8th grade class trip, to be more precise.

His class, who’s been together with the same teacher since 1st grade (Waldorf School), has been fundraising for ages in anticipation of the trip.  A handful of parents, including me, went along as chaperones.  I really didn’t want to go, ‘cause as you already know, I don’t like to travel.  But neither does Tuck, so when I reluctantly offered to go along as a chaperone, his whole attitude toward the trip changed.

There were so many highlights throughout the week – touring historic downtown Charleston, swimming and playing at the beach, canoeing through the coastal salt marshes – but for me, one moment stands out above all the rest. That moment came when another mom on the trip commented on my relationship with Tucker.  “I never knew you two were so devoted to each other,” she said.  She pointed out the moments throughout the week when Tuck would part from his friends to come over my way and give my hand a squeeze or drape his arm over my shoulder.  “It’s truly lovely,” she said, “to see a boy so in love with his mom.”   I’d fly back to South Carolina once a week just to hear that again.  It really came as such a surprise, first of all, because I’ve never looked at my relationship with Tuck through the eyes of another, but more importantly, as he’s moved into serious adolescence, there’ve been times when I was certain he didn’t even like me, let alone love me.  I’m not sure if it was that comment, or living in the midst of 31 other people for a week, sleeping on the top of a bunk bed, waiting in line for the bathroom, cramming into big white passenger vans to get here, there, and everywhere, but something cracked open in me during that week and I’ve arrived home brimming with joy and gratitude, knowing that when I take chances, when I choose to jump in with both feet, rather that letting fear talk me into staying at home, amazing things can happen.

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On that note, we just found out that Lee has to travel to London for business the day after Tucker graduates, and in spite of the need for expedited passports, expensive plane fares and my clenched-up belly, we’re jumping in with both feet and the kids and I going along with him.  (We’ll have traveled more in the past 5 months than we have in the past 10 years!)  I can do this, right?

The final thing I wanted to mention is that last week, May 29th, was the one-year anniversary of the release of my book, Preemie.  I wanted to do something special in honor of this anniversary, so I’ve decided to offer one of my favorite chapters, Chapter 6 – Trains, as a free download.  I hope you enjoy it and please pass it along to others.

Please accept my deepest gratitude and appreciation for all the love and support you’ve shown Preemie and me throughout the past year.  I am honored and so delighted to know that our story is out there in the world helping others to heal.

Click on the photo below for your free download of Chapter 6 from Preemie!

With love and blessings,

Kasey

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Click on Photo to download Chapter 6 – “Trains”

Rocks, Pebbles, Water

Just like me, my son struggles with organization.

Last Friday I urged him to clean out his backpack.

He refused.

“There’s nothing in there that shouldn’t be,” he said.

I pushed.

He pushed back.

When I promised to put all the binders and folders back in for him, he finally agreed.

Nothing in there?

Just several inches, an entire can’s worth, of crushed sour cream and onion Pringles.

“Oh yeah,” he said.

And just as I was about to ring his disorganized neck,

Susan Kruger showed up in our lives.

Well, her book did anyway.

And it’s a game changer.

It’s called SOAR (Set Goals, Organize, Ask Questions, Record Your Progress) and it’s full of simple tips and tricks that support student’s success in and out of school (and in this case, their mama’s, too!)

My favorite tool is the time management one Kruger uses for establishing priorities.

The approach is so brilliant in its simplicity.

Imagine you have a big empty glass jar.

That jar represents the 24 hours in your day.

Now fill that jar with rocks.

Those rocks represent all the things you have to get done in your day; the “must-dos.”

For Tuck, it’s his math homework, studying for his French test, and talking to his teacher about a report.  For me, it’s meal prep, laundry, bills, responding to correspondences, writing and exercise that comprise my rocks.

So now you have a jar full of rocks, but is the jar full?

No.

There are empty spaces in between all those rocks that can be filled with pebbles.

Tuck’s pebbles are soccer practice, working on his mountain bike trails and hanging out with friends.  Mine are tennis, yoga and coffee with a friend.

But believe it or not, there is still room in the jar.  Pour in water and it fills in the spaces between the rocks and pebbles.

That’s the time left for Tucker to watch tv or play games on his Kindle or Wii.  For me, it’s a 20 minute nap, sitting down with a book or watching my favorite t.v. program.

And what Tuck and I have both realized, is that if we fill the jar with our pebbles and water first, there ‘aint no way to fit in those rocks.

Essentially I’m still doing exactly what I’ve already been doing everyday, but the real difference is that I’ve categorized and prioritized everything.

Here’s what I mean…

Old Way – Empty 1/2 the dishwasher… answer email…take Meg for a walk… answer phone…empty other 1/2 dishwasher…check Facebook…put breakfast dishes in  dishwasher…put a load of laundry in washer…answer the phone…check email…jot writing idea down on slip of paper (later lose)…and on and on I go until I look up at the clock and it’s 2:45 and I’m late picking up the kids.

New Rocks, Pebbles, Water System – In the morning I draw several circles on a piece of paper (my rocks) and begin filling them in.  1 hour household (clean up kitchen, plan dinner, laundry, bills etc).  When that hour is up, I’m done. The rest can wait until tomorrow’s hour or I can pass on a couple of things to the kids as after-school chores. 1 hour communication, i.e. sit down at my desk and go though my email, Facebook and twitter, replying to whomever I need to.  I also use this time for phone calls.  Another hour is for writing. Another for exercise.  You get the picture.

Basically I’ve finally stopped flitting through my days and focus solely on the current task at hand. So by the time the kids get home from school, I feel like I’ve accomplished so much and can be wholly present to them, ready to kick around a soccer ball, play a board game or just hang out.  Once their rocks are complete, that is!

RocksSquareWhat about you? Do you or your child struggle with organization? Do you have favorite tricks or tools to share?

That for Which I am Willing to Shout from the Rooftops…

Here are a few of the things I’ve been really digging lately:

1.) My new iPad cover. I do most of my writing old school – pencil, paper, composition notebook. When I found this cover I was beyond excited – Old meets new!

2.) This Youtube video.  An Open Letter To Moms from Kid President  I can’t get enough of this kid!  But my kids are a bit worried about the “dance in the grocery store recommendation,” because, well, I already do!

3.)  My milk frother.  Last summer I discovered a love of lattes, but it turns out I just really love frothy milk. So every morning I whip up a bit of milk and pour it right on top of my regularly brewed cup.  Andie also loves it with her mint tea.  I couldn’t find a link, but I bought it at Target for 20 bucks.

4.)  This Tedtalk blew me away.  Amanda Palmer: The art of asking. Brilliant.

5.)  My two new favorite TV shows.  Touch and Nashville.  (Thanks Mom for turning me on to Nashville!)

6.)  Enneagram.  Enneawhat?  Enneagram is a system of personality types that I am finding wildly fascinating.  Now that I’ve determined my numerical type and that of my kids, I totally “get” myself and them on a whole new level.  A good place to check out the descriptions of each type is here – Introduction to the 9 Enneagram Types

7.)  This utterly fabulous workbook on study skills. Not only is it helping my kids get organized, but me, too!  I cannot recommend this book enough!  www.studyskills.com

More to follow in a future post!

8.)  Coconut Water Mango Smoothies.  Tucker loves them and I sneak more healthy stuff in there then he’d ever imagine.  Not much in the way of a recipe.  I just throw a bunch of frozen mango in a blender (sometimes pineapple, and if I’m drinking alone, a handful of spinach!) and fill just above the fruit with coconut water, which is full of electrolytes and lots of other good stuff.  I throw in a splash of o.j. and milk (makes it taste like a creamsicle), protein powder, flax oil, acidophilus and the calcium pills Tuck won’t take.

9.)  My perspective on aging.  After hearing Laura Linney’s on this Fresh Air interview I welcomed my crow’s feet.  “As I’ve been aging, and parents are dying and I’ve unfortunately lost friends who were way too young to go — you realize what a privilege it is to age.  And that’s not a message we hear a lot in the United States.”  You can check out the entire interview here – Linney Mines ‘The Big C’ For Serious Laughs

10.)  Hanging out with other Preemie Parents at the March of Dimes March for Babies, which I’ll be doing again this coming weekend, Sunday, May 19th at Southern New Hampshire University in Manchester, NH.  Once again, proceeds from all book sales will go to the March of Dimes!

(By the way, nobody’s paying me to do this rooftop shouting.)

So what’s got you shouting these days?

What Does it Mean to Mother?

I just left the Medieval Games at my children’s Waldorf School where I watched my strong, athletic, capable and highly competitive 6th grade daughter compete her heart out.

I stopped in at our local cafe to escape the heat, sip a lemonade and possibly write a bit.

As I sat, ready to begin writing, I opened my computer to find a notification informing me that my dear friend/editor/writing coach/book midwife, Suzanne Kingsbury had just posted a Mother’s Day essay on her wonderful blog where she posts “entries from my grandma Maggie’s (rather famous) late 1930s diary and fiery truth and wild musings from my writer’s life in Brattleboro Vermont in the 21st century.”

The cafe is busy and bustling on this warm Friday afternoon, and I am trying without much success, to contain my tears that refuse to stop.  I am stunned and honored.

I’m also amazed at the timing, for all day I’ve been thinking about all the “mothers” (including my own) who’ve shown up in my life to love, nurture and guide me along my journey.

Please read the post from Suzanne Kingsbury here –

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And to read a piece that I wrote about my mom a couple of Mother’s Days ago, click here –

Mom Memories

And to every woman out there, whether you’ve had children in the traditional sense or you have “mothered” in whatever way you’ve been called, I send you love, gratitude and many blessings.

It is sure to be an incredible Mother’s Day weekend here, as I will spend tomorrow, Saturday, May 11th at The Dartmouth-Hitchcock Hospital in Hanover, New Hampshire, side by side with many other preemie moms (and dads) participating in the March of Dimes Walk for Babies. I’ll be there signing my books  and donating all proceeds from the book sales back to the March of Dimes. If you’re in the area, I sure would love to see you there!

WIth much love,

Kasey

Happy Spring!

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I hope wherever you may be, you’re finding moments to get outside and enjoy the glorious return and renewal of spring.

With Blessings,

Kasey and Miss Meg

Renewal

For spring break, I took the kids down to Florida to visit my parents.

Once again I was reminded of the healing power of one of my favorite meditations – simply sitting on the beach watching my kids play in the sand and water.  What a gift.