Magical Moments Just for You

This is the time of year when we give so much of ourselves to others that we sometimes need a reminder of the importance of caring for ourselves.

I wanted to share a few quick and easy tools that may be just what you need to feed your body, mind and soul and create even more Magical Moments in the coming days.

A piece I wrote last year

A quick read to remind us that holiday perfection isn’t always found when everything is “just right,” but more so when we show up and are present to the quiet, often hidden moments we may miss in this busy time of year – HOLIDAY PERFECTION

 

 

 

 

Warm Layers

A coaching client recently and reluctantly admitted that she hadn’t been moving her body much. “It’s just so cold,” she complained. I shared with her the secret I’d discovered years ago. As soon as the temps drop in the fall, I begin layering with a pair of silky long undies (I love the Cuddleduds brand) and a cozy tank top. “I’m never cold anymore,” I assured her, “And I use to be all the time.” If this is an issue for you, try it for yourself and see if it makes a difference. And if you have little ones, same for them. Long johns aren’t just meant for skiing and sledding. This way our bodies can focus on showing up in the best health possible, rather than putting all that energy toward simply keeping us warm.

Kasey’s Magical Morning Power Bowls

I used to drive out of my way to a local restaurant to get a hot and delicious Power Bowl, until one recent morning I decided to make my own. Now they’re a staple in our house and our favorite breakfast treat, but also a perfect go-to for any meal or snack throughout the day.

Make a big pot of Quinoa, bake a bunch of sweet potatoes, fry up some chicken sausages, chicken breasts, or any protein that you prefer. Store in the fridge so it’s ready every morning to be thrown together.

Grab a bowl, throw a bunch of fresh spinach in the bottom, add a layer of quinoa, then throw in chopped up sweet potato, protein, any leftover cooked veggies and warm it up (lately I’ve been cheating and using the micro, but do what feels right to you). Once it’s warm, throw some chopped avocado, a fried egg or whatever seems appealing on top. Andie’s favorite is a yummy peanut sauce. You can’t go wrong and this will fuel your body, mind and soul for hours to come!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Magic Ginger Tonic

I make up a big pot of warm ginger tonic that sits on the stove and I pour from it all day long. Again, it’s super easy. Add or take away whatever feels right to you!

Slice up 3-4 pieces of fresh ginger, add in a big spoonful of honey, a big squeeze of lemon and a hardy shake of cayenne pepper then pour in the boiling water.

This keeps me warm and toasty on the inside and hydrated thought out the day!

Give it a try and see how it works for you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s it!

So simple, right? But a way to give yourself a little extra holiday love this season.

Finally, I’m sending you so much love, gratitude and wishes for peace straight from my heart to yours.

I can’t wait to connect with you again in the new year. 2020 is sure to be special and full of lots of Magic!

With Blessings and Love,

Kasey

Magical Moments Abroad

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Magical Moment: Will I Ever Stop?

Our daughter is traveling abroad on a Gap Year.

My hubby and I were so excited when she called to catch up over video the other day!

We sat side by side on the couch as close as we could to get both our faces in the screen and be able to see hers.

Our girl was walking along the streets of Stockholm, Sweden where she’d traveled with friends for the weekend on a cheap flight from Barcelona. She was talking about remembering how much she loved the cold and that she had to buy a knit cat and fuzzy jacket to stay warm. She kept turning the screen so we could see the cafes and shops that she was passing.

As she talked, I delighted at how cute she looked in her new hat and found myself, rather than listening to what she was saying, rather than being present to her experience, trying to capture that moment with her on the phone by taking a screenshot of her. I kept fumbling with the buttons, checking the screen, and imagining the someday we’d look back at that photo and remember the moment we sat on the couch and had a video call with our girl while she walked the streets of Stockholm.

Or…

You could have been right there, right then in that moment, listening to everything your daughter was saying and sharing!

Oh yeah.

It reminded me of how often I do this.

Rather than being in a moment, I try to capture and hold onto the moment.

Am I the only one who does this? Do you?

Anyway, that moment reminded me of a piece I’d written about this exact subject a couple of years ago for Thrive Global.

I’m sharing it here, so if you’re like me, trying to capture the moment, rather than truly experiencing the moment, I hope this will resonate.

The Gift of Impermanence

Every day on the way to the kid’s school we used to pass a big, red barn. Boy, did I love the sight of that barn. Every morning as we drove up the hill, with the blue sky and fluffy clouds in the background, I’d think, “Man I have got to get a photo of that barn.” But we were always running late, or my phone was too full, and I just never did. And then one day, on the way to school, a swarm of workers surrounded the barn, and by the next morning, the barn was gone. Gone.

Next year my son will be gone — gone off to college. And two years after that, my daughter will follow suit. The other day my son and our dog, Ed were curled up on the couch — it was a magical moment — “Please let me take a picture,” I asked, and surprisingly he said OK. But once again the screen on my phone was black with the message Cannot Take Photo…

So for the past week, I’ve made a concerted effort to “de-clutter” all the photos on my phone and computer. My phone is so full, it can’t take new photos or even receive voicemail. And my computer, well let’s just say that if my computer wore pants, it would be up several sizes. Both my phone and my computer are backed up; so all I really need to do is delete the 5,147 photos on my phone and the 31,498 photos on my computer. But I worry. What if the backup on the external hard-drive in the fireproof box didn’t really back up all those photos? And what if the second backup external hard-drive in the other fireproof box didn’t work? And what if all those backup discs with the photos melt in some unexpected New Hampshire heatwave?

It would be a disaster.

Those photos are of my kids. My kids in Florida visiting my parents. My kids blowing out their birthday candles. My kids picking apples and petting goats, and studying the dinosaurs at the science museum and swinging on the swings at the park and running down soccer fields and canoeing on lakes and playing dress-up with our much-missed English Mastiff, Meg.

Those photos are our life.

Occasionally my 16-year-old daughter shows me a photo she’s posted on Snapchat. “That’s so cute,” I say. “Save it. Save it.” But she usually just shrugs and casually says, “It’s gone.” Gone. An adorable photo. A precious moment in time. A special memory. Gone. Just like that.

I think of those monks who travel with the Dalai Lama. The monks who spend days bent on their hands and knees creating a beautiful, intricate mandala out of sand. And when the Dalai Lama finally arrives to see their work, he gazes upon their creation and with one sweep of his arm, wipes the entire thing away. God, almighty, I hope someone at least snapped a photo.

I worry that I didn’t take enough photos of my kids when they were little. Now at 16 and 18 they hardly ever let me take their photos and my whole body aches when I think of all those lost moments I failed to capture. I’ll never get them back again.

And then it hits me…

Read the rest over here – Thrive Global

 

Are You Kidding Me?

Before I write these Magical Moment Blog posts, or what I think of more as my love notes to you, I take time to contemplate upon the messages that you’re most likely needing to hear right now.

I may sit quietly for guidance, but more often than not, the inspiration for these writing pieces come to me while I’m on my daily walks with Georgie Girl.

Perhaps it’s because we’re in the busy month of September, but the message I was told to share with you today is around Being Present in our day to day lives.

There is a funny passage in my first book, Preemie, that touches on exactly that.

It’s what I fondly refer to as my “grocery cart moment.”

I’m sharing it here in the hope that it inspires you to ask yourself, Am I present!

Enjoy!

 

From Preemie: Lessons in Love, Life and Motherhood – Chapter 30 – Moments

Karen McCarthy, the energy healer we worked with, talked a great deal about my inability to stay present.

She leaned forward in her office chair and touched my knee.

“You’re always checking out,” she said. “Try staying present and really be in the moment. When you’re with your kids, be with them. In the grocery store, really look at the fruits and vegetables. Appreciate the colors. On your walks notice the trees, feel the wind on your cheeks. Be in the moment.

By the end of that appointment, we came up with the technique of asking myself Am I present?

It actually helped.

During the morning drop off at Andie’s school, I talked more with other parents and even arranged a few date play dates without Andie’s prodding.

I felt more comfortable inside my own skin.

Then I had what I come to call my “shopping cart moment.”

It was one of those mornings when I’d raced the kids to school and zoomed off to try and do way more errands than time could possibly allow.

I was in the grocery store, throwing things in my cart, thinking about my next stop and checking my watch, when the question rang in my mind.

Kasey, are you present?

I laughed out loud.

I looked down at my shoes. “No,” I whispered to the shopping cart.

I took a deep breath, held up my to-do list, and scratched off all the other errands.

I decided that while I filled my grocery cart, I would stay fully present and enjoy the experience.

In the produce section, I studied the bright red tomatoes, smelled the strawberries, and rubbed the melons. I wandered around and found foods I never even knew the store carried. I was delighted when recipe ideas popped into my head.

Eventually, I arrived at the checkout. The lines were several customers deep.

I wanted to fret, but instead took my spot third in line and waited while two more shoppers fell in line behind me.

Yes, I boasted out loud in my head, I am present.

The line moved, and I was up next. Preparing to unload my cart, I looked down. And then I looked down again. I looked behind me, and then back into the cart.

It was empty.

My shopping cart was empty.

I’d stood line for ten minutes clinging to the handle of an empty shopping cart.

Later I’d laugh when I told Lee, but in the meantime, I had to excuse myself, reverse my empty cart under the scrutiny of other shoppers and find my way back out of line. “I forgot something,” I mumbled. “Yeah your mind,” their looks seem to say.

I searched several aisles and finally found my full cart waiting patiently alongside the canned tomatoes and imported olive oils.

I must have walked away with an empty one that had been sitting near mine.

I swapped carts, and as I pushed my loaded cart back down the aisle, I asked out loud, “Kasey are you present?”

That time, I refused to answer.

Do you ever have those moments?

I’d love to hear!

And please share this with anyone in your life you feel could use a little reminder to Be More Present!

Do You Need Permission?

So here we are.

September has arrived.

Classroom bells are ringing.

Summer is in the rearview mirror.

Many college-aged kids have flown the nest.

And how does all of this leave you feeling?

The other day I was sitting out in the backyard Adirondack chair, catching up on the phone with a friend.

She brought up a difficulty she was having.

“I feel angry and upset,” she had said. “But I know I should be feeling fortunate and grateful.”

I sat for a moment and watched the clouds slowly drifting by.

When I responded, the words came from my mouth, but they didn’t feel like they’d really come from me.

“What if you just allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling?” I asked.

We were both quiet for a few moments.

“Feel what I’m feeling?“ she tentatively asked.

“Yeah,” I said with growing confidence, “Give yourself permission to feel exactly what you’re feeling, rather than what you think you should be feeling.”

I could feel a charge through the phone line as we both absorbed this concept.

In the following days, my friend would report how liberating it felt to truly allow herself to feel the actual, real feelings that emerged within her.

I too put this new method into practice.

I had the perfect opportunity, as suitcases were pulled down from the attic, and our girl prepared to leave for her Gap Year travels.

At first, I was doing exactly what my friend had done. Feeling one way, but dismissing those feelings for the feelings I thought I should be feeling.

When I thought of the airport departure, when I thought of the empty bedroom and breakfast table, I felt sad. But I told myself I should be feeling excited for my daughter. I should be feeling grateful that she has this amazing opportunity.

But I caught myself and gave myself permission to feel what I was really feeling…sad.

And I noticed an amazing thing started to happen.

When I really allowed myself to feel that sadness, it seemed to move through me, as if it had been heard, acknowledged and didn’t need to take up so much residence within my body anymore.

And I noticed that beneath the sadness, there was excitement, gratitude, and joy.

Later, when the sadness reemerged, I welcomed it. I felt what I was feeling.

I welcomed Sadness and offered to pour her a cup of tea. To sit together and wrap ourselves in a blanket and chat about how much we were going to miss our girl.

And later, when she said goodbye, I was free to welcome whatever other emotions arrived at my door.

Please, come in Gratitude…

Welcome, Appreciation…

Let us sit together and discover what brings you here today.

And let’s imagine all the amazing tales our girl will have to share when she returns from her travels!


(The morning of her departure – airport goodbye kiss)

Plain and simple…

if you feel it, feel it.

Give yourself permission.

With love and blessings,

Kasey

I Finally Got It

Hello Sweet Friend,

I hope that summer is treating you well, and you’re enjoying every magical moment that comes your way!

If you’re like me, you probably hear it all the time – Just Be Present – right?

But does anyone ever tell you how to just be present?

Me, either.

But I think I may have figured out a way.

It happened recently at a concert with my hubby.

A 90’s throwback band was on a reunion tour and we’d bought tickets in the winter, long before we knew it was the night before we’d leave for a week long family vacation.

Needless to say, I had a few things to do that day, and we’d ended up arriving late for the show, walking up to the venue just as the warm-up band was playing the final notes of their encore.

Hearing those familiar notes I said, “Aw, I’m bummed we missed that.”

“I’m totally bummed,” hubby replied.

I kinda took his response like a kick to the gut.

As I followed him to our seats, I was thinking about how I could have managed my day differently so we’d made it to the show on time.

As the headliners emerged on stage, and the crowd started screaming, I was still wondering what I could have done differently.

As my hubby and the audience were all singing along to the familiar tunes, I was still in my head, replaying the day and how I could have gotten us there on time.

Three songs in, and I finally caught myself.

Hubby had turned to smile at me and squeeze my hand.

I’d squeezed and smiled back, but realized I was barely there.

What would you tell a coaching client who was in this situation? I’d asked myself.

And in that moment, I realized I had a choice. I could keep replaying the day in my head, or let it go.

And then these magical words floating across the screen of my mind – Oh well.

Oh well.

It was like an anchor around my neck fell away. Like the record player in my head finally shut off.

Oh well.

And then, I too began to dance and sing along.

Until…

A couple of songs later when my mind began listing off all the things that needed to happen tomorrow for us to leave.

But I caught myself pretty quickly and actually laughed out loud. I’d left the past for the present and then jumped right into the future!

We’ll see, were the words I heard next.

We’ll see.

And there is was!

A simple, beautiful, perfect mantra for calling myself back to the present moment.

Oh well, we’ll see.

I invite you to try it, or create something similar on your own.

Oh well, we’ll see.

And then open your eyes wide and witness all the Magic right in front of you!

My Least Favorite Word!

I was recently inspired to take to Facebook and record a quick video in which I spoke about my least favorite word in the English language.

What prompted this was a moment during a recent coaching session with one of my life-coaching clients. We were talking about her relationship with her hubby. “Things are fine,” she had said.

I tried not to wince, but she saw me.

Then we dove in and I shared my detest for that word… Fine.

“Fine?” I asked her. “And that’s working for you?”

She smiled shyly and shook her head. I watched as her eyes lit of up and the realization come over her. “No,” she had said. “Fine is not working for me.”

What about you?

Are there areas of your life that you would you describe as fine?

Are you ok with that?

I’m not!

I didn’t come here for fine. I came here for an exceptional, outstanding, terrific, fantastic, knock-it-out-of-the-park life, and I refuse to settle for fine!

(Can you tell I’m a little passionate about this?)

It all began the day my hubby and I were preparing to go to a wedding. I’d come down the stairs in a dress and heels and asked him how I looked. “Fine,” had been his response.

Can you guess mine?

Let’s just say, he doesn’t use that word anymore to describe my appearance!

And my coaching client? We came up with easy and practical changes and goals in regard to her marriage, which she recently described as “wonderful,” and added, “I kind of hadn’t noticed how we’d just fallen into a routine and settled for the same old, same old.”

What about you? Are there areas of your life you would describe as just fine? Are you ok with that? Do you want to make a shift?

If you’re ready… if fine is no longer acceptable, I’d love to help.

I’m offering 6 free life coaching sessions, and I’d love to give one to you!

We’ll meet over video, and explore what your knock-it-out-of-the-park-life looks like, any blocks and limiting beliefs that are keeping you from getting there, and create a road map that ensures you do. It really is magic and I’d love to share it with you!

This is my mission, my passion and my calling… to help others live exceptional lives full of love, joy, abundance.

First come, first serve, so schedule your session today 

You can also read more about my coaching here or email me at kasey@kaseymathews.com 

And watch the fb video here –

Here’s to Endings and New Beginnings

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am the proud Mama of a high school graduate!

For all of you who have followed my book, Preemie: Lessons in Love, Life, and Motherhood and know the story of our girl’s birth, you know that moments like these hold an extra sprinkle of significance.

Yet, I was so busy getting ready for the event of graduation – cleaning the house, making beds for family and friends, ordering platters of food, replying to graduation party invites, and attending end of year presentations, that I wasn’t really thinking anything about the significance of this moment at all.

And yet, once the day of graduation arrived, and we all sat on folding chairs under the big white tent, and I looked up on that stage and saw our daughter with a huge smile on her face, my throat constricted, and tears started forming behind my eyes.

She’s no longer a preemie, but I couldn’t help but imagine, what if, in all those dark, uncertain moments, we’d been given just a glimpse of the young woman she’d one day become? Just a quick peek behind that curtain. I began to imagine how differently I would have moved through those days. How I would have been so much less afraid and so much more present to both our baby in the hospital and our beautiful two-year-old, Tucker at home.

But, alas, as a dear friend once said, Life don’t work that way, girlfriend.

So I grabbed a tissue from my purse and decided that instead of looking back on what could have been, I can be present to this current moment and allow myself to see what is right in front of me. A beautiful, confident, ambitious, young woman.

And at the same moment, I allow myself to think of all the other parents currently facing the unknown with their babies, and send out a blessing and intention that someday, they too, will be sitting in a crowd of weepy and cheering families watching their former preemies move across a stage to mark the ending of one chapter and the beginning of another.

And what a beginning this will be for our girl, as she has deferred her college acceptance for a year and heads off on a Gap Year program that takes her traveling to different countries all over the world.

New beginnings for us all!

Mother’s Day Magic

I hope this finds you well and enjoying the glorious month or May (or the new June, as many of the moms I know have dubbed it – it’s so full and busy!).

With this time of year so heavily focused on getting the kids to the end of the school year, we need to remember to take a few moments for ourselves each and every day!

I saw first hand the power of this when I was up in my hometown of Syracuse, NY for a couple of Mother’s Day events.

The first event was a wonderful gathering for the NICU expansion at Crouse Hospital where I spoke about my first book, Preemie: Lessons in Love, Life, and Motherhood. You can read more about that here – CROUSE HOSPITAL NICU FUNDRAISER

The following day was to be an evening book signing for A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Magical Life at Barnes and Noble, but before that, an opportunity to appear on the local evening news popped up!

Was I nervous? Of course, but mostly I wanted to get it right.

I studied some newscasts and noticed how most of the women dress, typically in more form-fitting dresses.

“I’m going to wear the same pink dress I wore last night for the talk and then quickly change for the book signing,” I declared to my mom and Andie.

“And because timing will be tight, Andie, you and Papa Jer can go ahead to Barnes and Noble and set up the food, drinks and books.”

Everyone nodded their heads.

And then I strode out to the car to pack my extra books, seltzers, cookies and the outfit I’d quickly change into once the news segment was over.

On the way back in my mom mentioned that Andie might want to see the television station, but I assured her we were on too tight a time crunch and that wouldn’t work.

I quickly moved up the stairs to grab a shower, but remembered I’d promised myself to take a few minutes to listen to a meditation.

So I did.

And within moments of lying down on the bed and listening to the calm, serene words of the meditation wash over and into me, I saw a vision of myself on the news, wearing the loose and comfy outfit I’d planned for the book signing – and there Andie, right there watching!

I was tempted to pop right up, but I listened to the rest of the meditation, and found even deeper stillness and quiet.

And once it ended, I took out my earphones, walked over to Andie and said, “I’m back, and I’d love for you to go to the news station with me.”

“What about the bookstore set up?” she asked.

“Who cares if we’re throwing cookies on a plate when people arrive,” I said and went to put on my cozy outfit.

What I realized during that meditation was that the news channel wasn’t interested in having another news anchor on the air. They were interested in a woman who shows up as her authentic self and speaks about what lights her up.

I hope that’s what I did, and I hope that inspires you to do the same in your life!

NBC3 Mother’s Day News Segment

Walking into the news station, Andie looked around and said, “This is dope.”

4

The Magic and Messiness of Motherhood

Hello Friend!

This weekend I’ll be celebrating Mother’s Day with my mom and my daughter, as we travel up to Syracuse, NY for a couple of book events!

On Thursday, I’ll be speaking at an event for a local hospital that’s doing a huge NICU expansion to better meet the needs of families throughout the greater central New York area!

Friday evening, I’ll be at the local Barnes and Noble, reading and signing from A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Magical Life.

Both events feel so timely with the arrival of Mother’s Day weekend!

As I plan for travel, making sure I’m packing all I need, while at the same time ensuring all is taken care of at home, I got thinking about the role of Mom and all that entails.

In particular, the way we need to be so flexible, especially in times when all our planning doesn’t exactly go the way we intended!

I thought back to the time when Preemie was about to be published, and my publisher suggested I make a promo video for the book.

A videographer was arranged, a date was picked, and a basic concept for the video was created.

Lee, myself and the kids on the lake, just being us, just being together.

At ten o’clock the night before we were due to film, the letter I read to my daughter in the video came pouring through, and I knew it was meant to be a part of the video.

I was delighted to have received such a gift and felt it would really enhance the video.

Then at ten thirty, that same night, just as I’d finished writing that letter, the front door opened, bringing in a warm summer breeze, along with Lee and Tucker, who’d been spray painting boat parts in the garage…

And they were both BLUE – like Papa Smurf and Baby Smurf!

I had to hold on to the door frame to keep myself from falling over!

I had to unclench my fists before running over and punching Lee!

I had to take several deep breaths to keep myself from screaming!

And then I had to figure out how we were going to get out of this mess!

Every surface they touched on the way the shower turned blue. The shower curtain had to be thrown out.

An hour later, they were both wrapped in towels, shriveled and shaking – the hot water long gone, but they were mostly not blue.

Then the laughter began. Laughter that could not be stopped.

And I knew in that moment that much of the magic of motherhood comes from those unpredictable, unforgettable, messy moments!

To this day there’s still a blue handprint on the towel rack in the bathroom. For a while, I tried to scrub it off, but it wasn’t going anywhere. Now I look at it and just smile.

And remember. And rest assure, that it’s all perfect.

Messy and perfect.

And here’s the video to prove it!

A Letter to My Daughter

May your Mother’s Day be full of memories, Magic, and maybe even a little messiness!

With love and blessings,

Kasey

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