Tag Archive for: Motherhood

Ask Yourself: What Do You Need

When our daughter was little, there were times when she was so out of sorts, I felt helpless in helping her.

One day, I opened up to a friend and shared this with her. In return, she offered the suggestion of asking our girl the simple question – What do you need?

That question became my magical go-to.

I remember the numerous times I knelt down, put my hands on her bony shoulders, and asked her, What do you need?

Often, she didn’t know, but the fact that I cared to ask and listen, seem to be exactly what she needed.

I offer this to you today, because so often, many of us find ourselves in times of uncertainty and feeling out of sorts.

This is an opportunity to ask ourselves this very question– What do I need?

And in response, just listen.

Let your voice from within tell you what you need.

Maybe you’ll hear:

Rest.

A bath.

A good cry.

A long walk.

The cup of tea with a friend.

A turkey sandwich with lots of cranberry.

A romantic comedy.

A night out belly up to the bar with with a salted margarita.

A pillow to punch and get all my anger out.

What do you need?

Your turn.

Ask yourself – What do I need?

Write down the first things you just heard.

And let the Magic begin!

Is Overwhelm a Choice?

Image result for overwhelm

(photo credit problogger.com)

Last Saturday morning the alarm rang at 4:30 am.

A cold, dark sky met my view out the window. I rolled over and thought of all the reasons we should not be going to the scheduled weekend event.

We’ve been traveling so much lately, the house is a mess, the kids are exhausted, I have so much laundry to do, the bills are piled up on the counter, and my bed is so cozzzzy.

Then I heard a voice in my head say, “Overwhelm is a choice.”

I rolled back over and stared up at the ceiling, allowing myself to hear the words again.

Overwhelm is a choice.

And right at that moment, I made a choice.

I chose to not feel overwhelmed.

It was 4:30 in the morning, but I realized I wasn’t actually tired.

And rather than think of all that would be left undone for the weekend, I thought of all the potential joy for us as a family.

I felt my whole body shift and relax.

I easily climbed out of bed to put on the tea kettle, start the car, gather snacks, blankets and pillows for the ride and greet my family with an early morning smile.

And I thought about my role as Mom, and just how much my mood sets the tone for the family.

Overwhelm is a Choice.

What a gift to have received such wise words – and show up calm, composed and open to all the wonders of time spent fully present and engaged with my family.

Remember, You get to Choose How You Show Up in Your Life.

“Your environment does not create your peace, your peace creates your environment.” (momdelights.com)

Do you find yourself angry and overwhelmed? Remember, overwhelm is a choice! You have the ability to re-frame your mindset and choose happiness instead! #overwhelmed #mindset #selfcare

On Mother’s Day

As Mother’s Day approaches, I’ve been thinking about my role as Mom and wondering what childhood memories will really stand out for my kids as they grow older.

I assumed it would be those really extraordinary times, the ones that take lots of planning and big effort…

The trips into Boston to the Museum of Science, the Aquarium, Faneuil Hall, Fenway Park… that Mother’s Day when we all dressed up and went to the Museum of Fine Arts and then that pricey South End restaurant…

All those holidays where I shopped, cooked, baked and decorated to make it all just perfect and special and unforgettable…

Or the birthday parties… the one when Andie invited every single kid in her class and quite a few from Tucker’s, the bowling alleys, the moonwalks, the gigantic cakes…

Or the vacations we saved for, the gifts, the fancy outfits, the expensive restaurants…

I brought up some of those special occasions with the kids the other day and was met with mostly blank stares. After jogging their memories with key details about each event, they both said variations of Yeah, I kind of remember that, offering me sympathy pats on the shoulder and saying That was fun, Mom.

So, I started thinking back on what I remember most from my own childhood. I closed my eyes and allowed memories to wash over me…

Sitting on our front flagstone steps next to my mother’s tanned legs while she flipped through that day’s mail and turned the pages of the evening newspaper. 

Mom and I stretched out on the camel back sofa in our den drinking rainbow sherbet-ginger ale floats, watching the 1970’s game show To Tell the Truth. 

A Friday night, I was really young, but we stayed up late and ate a steak dinner with garlic bread and sat around the table so long that the mushroom shaped candle burned right down to a pile of wax. 

Mom’s pink and white striped collapsible lounge chair, the kind that made the click, click, click noise when it was opened or folded up, and the smell of her Hawaiian tanning oil floating in the air.

My backyard birthday party when Mom joined in the relay race and had to sit on a big balloon to make it pop…

As memories continued to flood in, I couldn’t help but notice just how ordinary they all seemed. They were just everyday moments I spent hanging out with Mom.

And then I got it; maybe it’s not about creating memories, it’s about just being with my children and allowing memories to happen.

mom

My Mom!

So in honor of my mom and just in case the kids want a delightful memory to store away for someday, I made root beer floats and we all curled up on the couch to watch Jeopardy!

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.  Thanks for the memories.

May your Mother’s Day be a day full of wonderful memories and if you’re looking for a gift that will touch every mom’s heart, my story of unexpected motherhood can be found here – Preemie: Lessons in Love, Life, and Motherhood 

With love and blessings,