Connecting with Your Kids

A mother connecting with her kid

(photo credit thanks to sai de silva)

Do you feel like you’re not connecting with your kids?

Wishing you could find better ways of connecting with your kids?

When my kids were little, they’d come to me and want me to fix what was wrong in their lives.

I fell and skinned my knee = a bandaid and a kiss

Tucker is teasing me = a little time apart

Can’t fall asleep = an extra story and a back tickle

Those were all wonderful ways of connecting with my kids, but as they grew older, those go-to solutions weren’t as effective, and much of the time, not what was really needed, and sometimes I wasn’t sure how to feel more connected to my kids.

In fact, what it took me ages to understand, is that the kids weren’t really after solutions at all.

When they had a complaint about a teacher, or a friend situation or a headache, they weren’t looking for me to “fix” anything. They were simply looking for me to listen.

To hear them, to see them and to acknowledge what was going on in their life.

It took me a while to get it. In fact, it’s still a practice, especially when they call home from their new, away-from-home locations, and open up about what’s happening in their lives, good and bad.

Of course, I welcome and receive the good. Awesome! I’m so happy to hear everything is going so well!

But when they begin to share their woes and struggles, my Mama propensity is to jump straight in and start making suggestions as to how they can remedy the situation.

But before I get too far, I remember these two magic words – That Sucks.

Yup. Those are the words! Crazy, right? But I’m telling you they totally work!

Here’s a fictitious example of my old way versus my new.

Daughter: My roommate wore my favorite sweater and got a hole in it.

Me: She did what? You’ve hardly worn that sweater. Did you tell her that it doesn’t work for her to borrow your stuff without permission and moving forward you’ll need to…

Daughter: Mom. Mom! I can handle this. I have to go.

Versus…

Daughter: My roommate wore my favorite sweater and got a hole in it.

Me: Ugh, that sucks. Sorry to hear that.

Daughter: Thanks. Yeah I was really bummed, but we worked it out and she’s going to ask me before borrowing any of my clothes again.

Me: Awesome. Sounds like you figured it out.

Big difference – instead of me solving her problem, she gets to own it and solve it herself.

These are my words, for my kids, at this age. That Sucks may not work for you, so find your own version, especially if your kids are younger:

Oh, no. I’m sorry you’re going through that.

Is there anything I can do to help?

That’s too bad. I’m sorry.

We all want to be seen, heard and validated and with everything going on in the world, with the enormity of suffering, loss, grief, uncertainty, isolation and more, this is a perfect time to practice this ever so important skill of just being present and listening.

Try it yourself and see if this way of connecting with your kids works for you!

Of course, a good dose of laughter is always terrific medicine…

So, I thought I’d share my all time favorite video which illustrates exactly what I’m talking about.

Just see me. Just hear me. Just validate me.

And don’t you dare try to fix me!

​Want to know more about our story and what led me to this moment? I speak about the deep impact our daughter’s premature birth had on our lives in this interview with Random House. 

You can read more about my book, Preemie, HERE.

Transformational Life Coach vs. Therapist

Photo credit thanks to Nordwood Themes on Unsplash

What’s the difference between a Transformational Life Coach and a Therapist?

Perhaps you’re considering transformational life coaching but you aren’t sure if it’s for you because you already have a therapist, or were thinking about finding one. How do you determine whether or not you need a transformational life coach or a therapist?

While they may both help with mental health and emotional healing, life coaching focuses primarily on setting and achieving goals, as well as removing limiting beliefs and blocks that stand between you and your success.

Therapists often tend to focus on the past, rather than use where you are in the present to create action in order to move forward.

How do you determine whether or not you need a transformational life coach or therapist?

This blog will show you three of the key differences so you can decide whether or not transformational life coaching is right for you.

No matter what you choose, having someone to look at your life from an outside perspective can be very beneficial for your progress and personal development.

Holistic Life Coaching Focuses on Outcomes and Goals in All Areas of Your Life

When you begin with a Transformational Life Coach, you will begin by taking a holistic look at all areas of your life from mental, emotional, physical, relational, spiritual, and occupational to see where you are currently and help to establish clarity around where you want to go.

Then, you will work with your Life Coach to achieve the goals and outcomes that you move you forward toward these milestones.

While a therapist can help with many of these areas, they typically focus less on goals and outcomes, and more on problems surrounding these aspects of your life. Therapists tend to work on one area at a time, whereas a Transformational Life Coach taking a holistic approach looks at how all aspects of life work together to create continuity.

Life Coaches Do Not Diagnose, Prescribe, or Treat

A Life Coach is not a medical professional and does not diagnose, prescribe or treat mental illness or other disease. As therapists are typically licensed professionals, and in many cases use a diagnosis to submit to your insurance for payment, they are able to diagnose in accordance with their expertise and certifications.

Psychotherapists may, in some cases, be able to prescribe medications.

A Transformational Life Coach works with the whole person, and while health and self-care may come up as topics of focus, a Life Coach is not a medical professional and will not offer advice in such areas. It is best when working with a Life Coach, to consult with your general practitioner prior to making any changes.

A Transformational Life Coach Can Help You With Your Business

Transformational Life Coaching can help you get clear on and achieve your personal and professional goals. A Life Coach can help you on creating a business plan, improving your communications skills, overcoming money mindset blocks, achieving financial goals, and finding a work life balance. For those looking to start a new business or grow their current business, a Transformational Life Coach is a great choice.

A therapist tends to focus the conversation and work on trauma recovery, unlocking areas in past relationships that are still causing pain or issues, working through depression or anxiety, and significant loss.

Life coaches and therapists will sometimes help their clients with similar problems, but it’s important to understand the distinction between the two in order to decide which one will serve you best. It’s also important to realize that life coaching is not simply “therapy lite” – it is work that focuses on helping to motivate and inspire YOU to achieve more than you believe is possible for yourself!

Does it sound like Transformational Life Coaching is what you have been looking for?

Then I’d love to invite you to book a Free Discovery Session in order to determine if my coaching is a match for your needs! In this free 45-minute session, you’ll have the opportunity to paint a picture of the life of your dreams and together will uncover the limiting blocks and beliefs that are keeping you from achieving those goals.

If you’d like to read what others have reported about their transformational life coaching experience with me, you can read their testimonials here.

Be Happy Now

Be Happy Now

Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash

How To Be Happy Right Now? Change the Way You’re Thinking!

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about Happiness and wondering how many of us are actually feeling happy these days?

I don’t mean the kinda happy happiness. I mean truly, deeply happy.

I’ve noticed a theme as of late that kind of goes like this –

I’ll be happy when…

The virus goes away.

My boss goes on vacation.

I start to exercise and stick with it.

I lose 10 pounds.

My kids go back to school full time.

That check arrives in the mail.

My spouse contributes more.

I launch that business/website/product I’ve been talking about for years.

I start writing that book I’ve been talking about writing forever.

Are you starting to pick up what I’m putting down?

The I’ll be happy when sickness. How many of us have the I’ll be happy when sickness and don’t even know it?

Let me ask you this…

What if you chose to just be happy now?

In this moment.

Right now.

Your choice. Wait for someday, or choose to make someday right now.

Can you feel the difference?

The happiness you’re seeking is either down the road, or that happiness already exists, right here, right now. There’s no need to seek. No need to chase. No need to wait. It’s already here. You simply choose to see it and allow it.

How? I thought you’d never ask!

Look at your life through the eyes of gratitude and appreciation.

Let me repeat that.

Look at your life through the eyes of gratitude and appreciation.

Yup. I’m serious. That’s it. Yes, it’s so simple. So simple that many of you will dismiss this golden nugget because you believe the answer to happiness has to be harder, more complex, right?

Nope. It truly does not.

Because what you put your gratitude on, blossoms. What you appreciate, appreciates. When you’re in the energy of happiness, you grow even more happy. And when you shift your perspective, you open yourself up to Magic!

Best of all, that energy ripples off of you on to others and spreads your light and magic. That’s the kind of contagion we need to be spreading around the world these days, right?

The Happiness Bug!

Try it –

I’m so happy and grateful for the money that’s in my bank account!

I’m so happy and grateful my children have such healthy and robust energy!

I’m so happy and grateful my body is getting stronger and fitter and taking me out on daily walks!

When we’re in the energy of happiness we grow even more happy.

See for yourself! Try it out and let me know how it goes! And please share this post along to anyone you feel could use a little perspective shift, more magic in their life and are ready to be happy now!

Hey, if you’re feeling the love imbued in these posts, be sure check out my  Facebook Page where I post daily treats of uplifting inspiration!

Looking for even more inspiration?

Check out this podcast interview where I’m talking with Deanna Seymour of the Imperfect Party Podcast all about letting go of the labels we where and how to finally ditch ‘em!

Click the following link or listen on your favorite podcast app – Letting Go of Labels Imperfect Party Interview

My interview on the Imperfect Party Podcast with Deanna Seymour

The Imperfect Party Podcast

How to Feel More Energetic Throughout the Day

 

Woman looking happy in field of flowers

Photo credit thanks to Allef Vinicius

Are you ready to feel more energetic throughout the day?

I don’t know about you, but ever since the day the calendar turned and this new year began, I woke feeling differently.

I didn’t set out with endless New Year’s Resolutions. 

I had more energy!

Nothing in the outside world had necessarily changed, but I felt an energetic shift had occurred within me.

I felt hopeful. I felt lighter. Joyous. Inspired. I still do.

And I’m ready more than ever to help others feel that way, too.

Are you looking to feel more hope? More lightness? More joy? More inspiration?

It’s the time of year when many are implementing good old resolutions and setting big goals.

Yet, I’d invite you to implement a small and effective tool that my coaching clients love and helps them to feel more energetic throughout the day!

It’s an energetic measuring stick of sorts.

How can you feel more energetic?

All you need to do is ask yourself one simple question – Is this bringing me energy in, or causing my energy to flow out?

It’s a humble question, but one I believe we all need in our toolbox as we move into this new year ready to live in our best health, happiness and awakened state.

Ask yourself ~

Is that coffee date with my friend going to fill my well or leave it further depleted?

Will answering that phone call leave me feeling uplifted or drained?

Will checking email first thing in the morning leave me full of energy or exhausted?

Is that choice helping me to feel more energetic, or less?

Remember you have a choice. Choice to allow all you wish to receive in your life and choice to love and protect all that you choose to put out in the world. Your energy is precious! And we want you to be your most energetic self!

Imagine your energy is like the aperture of a camera. It’s important that the aperture is adjusted properly so that light can come in, but too much light is not spilling out.

By bringing in Awareness around the energy you’re putting out and the energy you’re allowing in, you open yourself to Receive (my theme of the year) lots of luscious energy in order to make this your best year yet! ​And if you’re looking for another tool, check out this post on Asking Yourself This Important Question!

If you’re ready to begin and start choosing a life of more energy, joy, and inspiration, I welcome you to book a Free Discovery Call with me and see if transformational life coaching is right for you and can help you to feel energized.

Let’s do this!