Are You Too Busy? Take a Self-Care Slow Down

Lately, whenever I ask folks how they’re doing, the standard answer seems to be…Busy. Are you too busy, as well? Well let me invite you to take a “self-care slow down.”

Everybody is Busy

Yup. It’s that time of year again.

And we’re not even into the holiday season.

Yup I get it.

But, hang on!

Because I’m certain that in the midst of your busyness, you can find a few moments each day to get centered and quiet.

Here is The Key

How?

You do this by noticing.

Paying attention to what’s around you.

As you’re racing through the grocery store, take a moment to slow down and stand in front of the produce and see all the magnificent colors.

As you’re folding laundry, slow down and feel the textures of the clothing on your fingers.

When in your car, notice what you’re choosing to surround yourself with – negative news that triggers your nervous system? Background music you’re barely listening to? What about an and a little aromatherapy to create your own sanctuary on wheels?

There are numerous opportunities throughout the day when you can simply slow down, notice, and be more present.

flowers and the phrase slowing down is self-care

Slowing Down is self-care.

And it doesn’t require making an appointment for a manicure, pedicure or massage.

It just requires you bringing in the awareness and choosing to be more intentional in how you move throughout your days.

Slowing down is truly a simple practice that can be deeply life changing. 

Slowing down in the antidote to our busy lives!

So the next time someone asks, How are you?

Take a moment to really notice; check in and ask yourself, How am I?

If you’re giving yourself these precious, soul-nourishing moments to slow down throughout your days, hopefully your answer will be, “Good. I’m really good.”

Then take that opportunity to sprinkle some of that magic on everyone else who needs to slow down and give themselves more moments to breathe.

Let’s be the ripples on the pond, spreading this self-care love out to those we meet throughout our days.

And notice, as you make space for these magical moments in your days, you’ll find that gratitude and appreciation flow in to fill that space.

And that is a beautiful thing, especially this time of year!

Sharing a little client love recently sent my way!

“Kasey describes herself as a Transformational Life Coach, and I would daresay that ‘Transformational’ is an understatement.”

Awww!!! I am so grateful and blessed to show up and get to do the work I do in the world!

You can learn more about my

How to Manage Times of Uncertainty

As life tends to do from time to time, it has delivered a hard moment in my life. And this current moment prompted me to think about how to manage times of uncertainty and share the tool with YOU, that I most often turn to in these times of need.

Here in New Hampshire the mornings now have a chill to the air.

As I pull out my warmer sweaters, I’m grieving the loss of the looseness and spontaneity of the summer season.

Yet at the exact same time, I’m rejoicing in the arrival of the rhythm and routines that coincide with the fall season.

Like so much in life, it turns out to not be an Either/Or situation but an And/Both!

As the seasons have changed, I’ve begun to find my footing, yet as life tends to do, unexpected tests and trials have been thrown in my path.

And based on what I’m hearing from many of you, it sounds like I’m not alone.

How I Manage Times of Uncertainty

As tends to be the case, along with these times of uncertainty come the close cousins – fear, worry and angst.

My #1 preference would be to climb under the covers, squeeze my eyes shut tight and shout, “Wake me when it’s over!”

But seeing that I’m a living breathing Mom, Wife, Business Owner, and Georgie Girl’s #1 Dog Walker, that is not an option.

So… instead, I turn to my most loyal and trusted friend… the page.

writing to find answers in times of uncertainty

A recent Sunday morning writing session

Writing is where I make sense of the world, find the answers I seek, and assure the child within that she is safe.

Times of uncertainty can trigger your nervous system into fight, flight or freeze mode and make you feel unsafe.

Soothing and assuring yourself that you are safe is the first step toward feeling calmer, confident and clear-headed.

What tools do you use to feel safe?

If you want to give writing a try, I’m sharing one of my favorite writing prompts to get you started.

Don’t worry about having a special notebook, or pen. Any old scrap of paper will do.

This is an exercise about discovering what’s hiding inside of you and bringing it out into the light.

If you feel called to do so, please share your words over in the warm and welcoming Facebook Community I created. 

Go ahead, allow your truths to come to light.

I’m here if you need additional support.

a writing prompt I am afraid that...

7 Types of Rest

Did you know there are 7 types of rest?

That is according to Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith who shares this brilliant wisdom in her book Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity.

We Need Rest

Based on the number of you who wrote back in response to my most recent blog post and newsletter, on Giving Yourself Permission to Rest, sharing your own stories of exhaustion and need for rest, it seems a good deal of us are really feeling the need for rest.

I adore reading your replies. I feel such camaraderie and comfort in knowing that I’m not alone in my experiences.

One reply in particular really stood out. So much so, that I wanted to respond – not just to that reader – but to all of you.

Because… when one of us is thinking/feeling/wondering something, often many of us are as well.

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The comment I received back was this…

“I wish I knew how to rest.”

Wow.

What a simple, yet gorgeous and vulnerable response.

“I wish I knew how to rest.”

Do you know how to rest?

We’re told to take care of ourselves; to give ourselves permission to rest, just as I’d done in that last newsletter, but do we really know how to rest?

Permission is all well and good, but on a practical level, the deeper question is How?

How do you rest?

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Back to Basics

This question is the perfect reminder that sometimes we need to take a step back to the basics in order to discover what we’re missing in our process.

Low and behold, I’ve been exploring this very topic. There’s an amazing podcast that speaks directly to this very subject.

The theory is that we all need different types of rest and that simply sleeping isn’t always the cure for all. Knowing that you need rest is a great first step, but determining the type of rest you need is the critical next-step:

7 Types of Rest

a list of 7 types of rest

The author explains how, when and why we can utilize these different types of rest. This gets to the root of what we’re needing.

Listen to the podcast interview with Dr. Saundra Dalton Smith HERE or check out her book, Sacred Rest, HERE.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the types of rest you are needing these days!

Give Yourself Permission to Rest

Truth be told, I’ve been really tired lately. But the little voice in my head keeps whispering, “Go, go, go.”  Is yours too? Is it time to give yourself permission to rest?

Lately, the little voice inside my head has been urging me to reach out to you through the blog.

“Come on, stay in touch,” says that voice.

Yet, the month of June was incredibly full, and by the end of the month I was exhausted and desperately needing rest. Rest? Who has time for that, right?

But that little voice inside my head keeps urging me!

And being the dutiful woman that I am, every time that voice prodded me I sat with my notebook and pen in hand trying to write. I sat in front of my laptop, trying to write. I tried voice-to-text on my phone, trying to write. But the words simply would not flow.

Hint – I Needed to Rest

Instead, in my mind’s eye, I was shown the image of a wrung out washcloth. Or, even better, my go-to image of an empty, dry well.

So I stood up for myself.

I told that little voice in my head, “I’m tired. I need to rest.”

But if your little voice is anything like mine, she is persistent!

The Voice in My Head Won’t Give Up!

Soon a neighbor passed by my front porch and told me just how much she looks forward to my weekly newsletters… even commenting on the profound change that occurred for her after reading the last post about silencing the negative voice in her head. ​

That conversation prompted me to yet again pull out my notebook and sit in front of my computer to try and capture the words to write a blog post, but they still weren’t coming!

So I choice another path.

Rather than listening to that persistent little voice in my head, rather than pushing myself, rather than trying, I decided to simply meet myself where I was.

To get quiet, to offer myself lots of rest, deep self-care and slowly, slowly, slowly start replenishing my depleted well.

Then I gave myself permission to rest. 

Will you do the same?

When I am tired, I will rest.

I hope you will too.

giving myself permission to rest on the couch with my dog, Georgie Girl

My ever so wise teacher, Georgie Girl. She always gives herself permission to rest!

My invitation to you…

Give yourself permission to meet yourself where you are and go ahead and take the rest you deserve.

So where are you these days?

How are you feeling?

Does the depleted well metaphor resonate with you?

I’d love to hear.

Leave me a comment hear, or let’s connect over on Insta! 

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Peace Begins with You

With all the craziness in the world, it can feel hopeless sometimes. We all long for a more peaceful world, yet wonder what can I do? This is my story of the moment I came to learn that rather than looking out there for peace, peace begins with you. 

Our Weekend Away

The kids were still pretty little when my husband and I snuck away for a weekend retreat.

Andie was home from the hospital and finally stable after her

My sister had gotten us a discount rate at an inn in Vermont, and I’d reluctantly agreed to go.

Not wanting to leave the kids, I tried to bail out at the last minute. But my husband insisted the time away was something we really needed.

He was right.

It was a wonderful weekend, full of quiet moments of relaxation, reflection and renewal.

The Moment

But there is one moment in particular, that has stayed with me ever since.

It was Sunday morning at the end of the 8:00 am yoga class.

The teacher had led us in a final meditation, and as we all sat with legs crossed and heads bowed, she said the words that still echo in my head and heart to this day.

The Words

“Please, don’t beat yourself up,” she said. “There is already enough pain and suffering in the world without you adding to it.”

I’d gone into that weekend full of exhaustion, self-doubt and uncertainty about my role as mother, wife, friend and pretty much any and every other aspect of my life.

I felt the yoga teacher had spoken those words directly to me.

They were the words my tired and tender body, mind and soul so desperately needed to hear.

So… before I got up from that yoga mat all those years ago, I made a vow to myself…

If I want to see peace out there, I need to begin with peace in here.

woman sitting in peace near water

That is my invitation to you, Sweet Friend.

Ask yourself…

Are there moments when you beat yourself up?

As with everything I coach and teach, this is about awareness, not judgment.

Just notice.

And please remember…

Peace Begins with You.

And…

Don’t beat yourself up. There is already enough pain and suffering in the world without you adding to it.

I would love to hear from you about the moments in your life that have had an impact. 

Shoot me an email or reach out on social.

The Power of Gateless Writing

In the fall of 2021 I discovered the power of Gateless Writing when I received my Gateless Teacher Training Certificate.

“Founded by award-winning author and book midwife, Suzanne Kingsbury, Gateless Writing is a methodology that uses creative brain science, ancient Zen, and highly-effective craft tools + resources to move you beyond the conditioned, critical mind to a place of limitless creative potential beyond.”

There is so much about Gateless that I adore, but one of the core tenants that I stood out for me is…

No Disclaiming.

In the application of writing, “No Disclaiming” means that statements like… This isn’t really my best work…I’m not sure this will makes sense…I wasn’t really in the writing mood today… are all left unspoken.

Upon first learning and putting this concept into practice, I found disclaiming words longed to jump off my tongue and undermine my work before anyone else could possibly have the chance.

This isn’t very good… I couldn’t think of anything to write… I just quickly jotted down a few thoughts…

Sitting at that teacher training prepared to share my written work for the first time, my palms were sweating, I couldn’t keep my foot still and my throat had tightened up.

But without the ability to disclaim, all I could do was share myself and my work.

Share, and in turn, be open to receive.

And what an incredibly vulnerable and life-changing experience that proved to be.

Because I realized that not only did I disclaim my writing, I was also disclaiming myself in so many other areas of my life as well!

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Upon returning home from the teacher training, I started to notice all the moments throughout my day where I was disclaiming myself.

This is a new recipe I tried, but it might be awful…

I have an idea, but it’s probably stupid…

What I came to understand about this habit of disclaiming is that I was not only undermining my contributions to the world, but also blocking myself from receiving what others had to offer.

Does that resonate?

If so, here’s my invitation to you.

Notice the moments when you disclaim yourself.

As always, just notice. No judgement.

It’s natural when feeling vulnerable to try and self-protect. But play with this idea and see what happens when you resist the urge to disclaim

I’d love to hear your thoughts and feedback and if you give it a try, please let me know how it goes!

I have one coaching spot opening up in June!

If you’re intrigued and would like to learn what my coaching is all about and the ways in which your life will be changed, I’d love to offer you a complimentary session.

You can schedule a session here – Kasey Mathews Discovery Session

Women’s Lakeside Weekend Retreat June 2022

All the information for my Women’s Lakeside Weekend Retreat June 10th – 12th, 2022 held on the shores of Lake Todd, in Bradford, New Hampshire can be found here – June Women’s Lakeside Retreat! 

The dream of hosting a Retreat for Women has lived in and on my heart for Sometime, but I was always waiting for Someday.

Someday, when the time was just right… Someday, when the house was perfect… Someday, when I felt perfect…

Then with the onset of the global pandemic, that choice was taken away.

So I promised myself, when the choice for Someday returned, I would wait no more!

“Someday is now,”  has become my new mantra.

So… I am spreading my wings, launching my dream, and opening my heart and home to the women who also believe that…

Someday is now.

This intimate, lakeside workshop is for the woman who is ready to rediscover and reconnect with herself.

This retreat is for the woman who is ready to wake-up and listen to her inner-voice (That inner-voice has so much to say!)

This retreat is for the woman who knows she’s ready to take the best care of herself in order to show up in her fullness for those she loves.

This retreat is for the woman who is ready to recharge, renew and restore herself.

​All the details can be found here -If this speaks to your heart, I hope you’ll join.

​Women’s Lakeside Weekend Retreat June 2022

Kasey Mathews host of Women's Lakeside Retreat Weekend in Bradford, N.H.

Is your heart saying Yes, but your head is saying, I still need to know more?

Check out this video that offers the itinerary of the entire weekend!

Women’s Lakeside Retreat Video

 

Mother’s Day Reflections

My Mother’s Day Reflections have been filling my heart and mind with peace and happiness.

It was such a treat to travel back to my childhood home and spend Mother’s Day with my Mom.

Pandemic life had kept visits far too infrequent and it felt amazing to finally gather and celebrate!

We went to one of my most favorite places in the world – The Syracuse Farmer’s Market!

I love wandering the aisles and allowing my senses to take in all the colors, textures, aromas and sounds of various accents and languages wafting on the breeze.

I’m also taken back to my younger years when I wandered those same aisles with a bag of popcorn spilling over in one hand and the other held in my grandmother’s.

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While at home, I was also able to attend a Mother’s Day church service. My Dad’s cousin, who married us – coming up on 26 years ago in June (!!) is head of the church.

It was a bustling, full weekend and although the church was in the wrong direction from my parent’s home, I felt so called to be there.

Midway through the service I understood why.

A beautiful young Mother was called up to share her Mother’s Day story.

She spoke of raising her three biological children and her seven foster children!

But before she shared that part of her story, she began with her own birth story.

“My mom was just half-way through her labor when I was born,” she said.

Instantly, chills covered me head to toe. Suddenly I knew exactly why I’d been guided and so determined to be there.

“I weighed just 1 pound 14 ounces… and my Mom was told I’d probably never walk or talk.”

Or…

Become the school principal that she is today, raising that gaggle of gorgeous little ones!!!

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Tomorrow, May 12th, 2022 is the 10 year anniversary of the publication of my Book, Preemie: Lessons in Love, Life and Motherhood. ​

I wanted to do something big to celebrate, yet connecting with that Mom seemed like the perfect celebration.

It reminded me that this work isn’t about one single day. Instead, it’s about the ongoing work of uplifting and inspiring others every day.

That is the gift and opportunity this book has given me.

And speaking of inspiring and uplifting, is The Women’s Lakeside Weekend Retreat in June waiting just for YOU?

Designed to allow you to rediscover those long-forgotten and neglected parts of yourself, this retreat will leave you feeling nourished, seen, heard, loved, deeply cared for, relaxed, appreciated and so much more.

This Retreat will be the gift that keeps giving long after our time together. You can find all the details here – Lakeside Women’s Retreat ​

Curious but uncertain? Simply reach out. I’m happy to answer any questions you may have!

I’d also love to hear hear how you spent your Mother’s Day!

Enjoy Your Life Now

If there is anything we’ve learned from the past two years experiencing a global pandemic is that we should enjoy life in the here and now. Why wait for someday when we now know how easily those somedays can be taken away?

Stop Putting Everything off till Someday

Fourteen years ago, when we found that empty farm house on a hill in rural New Hampshire, I stared out at the big back field, took my hubby’s hand in mine and said, “Wow, we could have an amazing party back there.”

And you know what? We never did.

Because there was aluminum siding to strip. There was painting to do. There were gardens to weed. And there were a gazillion other to-dos on that long list before the house was “done” enough to have a party.

Then, two years ago, with the onset of a global pandemic, the choice to have a party was taken away. Suddenly I found myself fully regretting all the parties and other moments in life I had let pass by.

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I’ve been watching the final season of the show This is Us. No spoiler alerts, just a moment of personal poignancy as I watched a scene with an older woman in failing health juxtaposed against her younger self, unaware of all that was to transpire in her life.

Sitting on my sofa, letting that realization sink in, I thought, “We just don’t know, do we?”

We didn’t know the upheaval, disruption and loss that the past two years would bring.

Yet now we do.

So perhaps it’s time to say YES to living life more fully while we can.

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A dear friend, after making a miraculous recovery from cancer, showed up in gorgeous skirts, dresses and jewelry every time I saw her.

One time I commented about how amazing she always looked. I share this story in my book, A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Magical Life.

“You know, Kase,” she said, looking me right in the eye, “I had all these clothes hanging in my closet waiting for the party. Then I realized, this is the party.”

Enjoy Your Life Now – This is the party! 

What are you waiting for?

Someday is now. This is the party.

Too Much Stuff, Not Enough Space

Are you also dealing with too much stuff and not enough space in your house these days?

Is all that “stuff” weighing you down and keeping you from enjoying the Magic in your life?

Fear not, my friend! I have a quick, easy and fun solution to help you clear all that clutter from your life and reclaim your magic!

Where Did All This Stuff Come From?

Looking around our house lately, my eyes fall on overstuffed bookshelves, cramped closets, and messy drawers.

The question, “Where did all this stuff come from?” keeps playing on repeat in my head.

Spring has finally sprung here in the northeast, and I don’t want to be stuck inside my house getting rid of stuff, aka “decluttering”.

Instead, I want to be outside playing in my garden and enjoying the turn of the calendar in this season of rebirth and renewal.

But the good news is, I have a solution that allows me (and YOU) to do both!

The Tackle Too Much Stuff and Not Enough Space Solution

It’s a Feng Shui Space Clearing method that’s fun, quick, easy, effective and most importantly, allows for lots of time to spend the day doing whatever else brings you joy!

I write about this method, along with many other fun tips and tools in my book, A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Magical Life, which, by the way, makes an excellent Mother’s Day gift!

Here’s how it works:

For 9 days in a row, remove 27 items from your home.

That’s it. It’s that simple.

Give, donate or throw the items away. Up to you.

My Approach

I like to start with one room at a time, and if possible, focus on an even smaller space within the room, i.e. a single drawer or closet. I keep bins out in the garage so at the end of the space-clearing cleanse, I get rid of everything at once.

Why I love this method so much is the grace that’s inherent within the cleanse. In the past, when I’ve started “decluttering” I go on for hours at a time, and end up with piles of stuff in each room, feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, resentful and with so much more work to do.

(Check out my previous article – Clutter Clearing/Making Space Part 1 (if you missed that!)

But with this simple method, I quickly choose the 27 items to let go of and that’s it for the day. It usually takes 15-20 minutes tops. I’m left feeling lighter and satisfied, yet still full of plenty of energy to enjoy the rest of my day.

​creating space through clutter clearing

If you’re looking for accountability and challenge, the method traditionally recommends getting rid of 27 items for 9 days in a row and if you miss a day, start back at day 1.

Yet, like everything in life, I believe you have to find what works best for YOU.

This is about you finding ways to achieve success and feel good about your achievement.

So if you choose to do 3 days, amazing! If you keep going and do 12, amazing, too.

There’s no right or wrong, this is about finding what works for YOU.

Listen to your heart and follow her lead.

I’d love to hear how it goes for you! Shoot me a message over on Instagram!